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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Writing...



The day looked sunny, unlike other times, and the sun was seriously contemplating doing a good while in the sky for now. Sunlight spread as far as you would see and covered everything in a poached blanket, sunny side up. The garden was being tamed, as junior decided to steal past out of the gate, hoping to escape by his dad unnoticed.




" I hate to say this big guy, but we need to talk", he said, trimming down the hedges from wilderness into cityscape mode. "Almost out", junior thought, but froze exactly where he was.He knew this would come sooner or later. Thanks to his English teacher, it had decided to beat all predictions and slap him straight across the face instead.




"Whats this that I keep hearing about you from your teacher? You writing scary stories an' all? Ghosts, lifts, rats, god knows what! You are not going far with that kind of talent my son! The teacher says that she had asked you before to kick the habit and write like other kids but you refused? Am I making any headway or am I talking to the gate in front of you?"




Junior stood where he had been frozen into his present state due to his dads words. He stuck his hands deep into his pockets and wished he was somewhere else. The birds on the trees around his house looked down, making comments at him,for being scolded in broad daylight. Not funny at all. His left hand found a loose thread and decided to pull at it while the tirade from his father continued. He kept staring hard at his feet, hoping they would turn into claws or some such.




" Other kids write happy stories", he continued. " They write about lost puppies finding their owners, friends hanging out together in parks and things of that sort! You choose to write about deserted highways, hospitals and I don't know!! Ghost journals?What are you getting at young man?"




" Ah jeez Dad! I like writing about them. I mean, isn't it cool to talk about rats and highways which are empty and.."




"Enough!", he said, cutting through icily. " Another of those short stories and its not going to be my mouth that would do the talk. My hand might do some talkin' the next time!!"




He went back to the house and decided to sit on the story that was pending for his next assignment. He wrote a story which had ducks, a pond and some kids fishing. There was nothing dark about it. In fact, it was a very happy story. Till the time, one of the edges caught fire on its own. He immediately stubbed it out and put his hands to his temples. He had his answer.And it wasn't a happy one.




He hung his head and decided that it was time to finally get his legs moving. He went out of his house and sat on a pavement the whole day. He saw people go around, running, milling around like little insects around a candle. What was the hurry? The sun, in the meantime, having got a cue from the kid decided to slowly hide behind some buildings and let darkness come in. The stars, finally braving the night, came out one by one, salt crumbs from a shaker on a used dinner table.




A slight gust had picked up, sweeping up lost paper planes and forgotten toffee wrappers. It was time. He would be standing exactly at the same spot as always! The little kid hurried his steps, as he braced himself for the explaining he would have to do. This was not going to be easy. He had heard of punishments which were so scary that kids often had them as nightmares. He closed his eyes and hoped that this would be a dream. He opened his eyes to the footpath he was on, something that was soon going to turn into a nightmare.




He stood there leaning against a lamp post, the only lamp post which seemed to be switched off in the whole lane. He wore an overcoat and his skin resembled the pallor of faded tomatoes. He breathed deeply and kept his eyes down. A passerby would have taken him to be a crook who hangs out at night with bats. A little stub seemed to be poking from the back of the coat.




His hat almost managed to hide his little horns.




The kid now stood in front of him staring at his clawed feet, the ones which he wanted. He did not know how, but it had to be done. So he did.




He breathed out and began, "forgive me father, for I have sinned..."




[ The story was inspired by echo's comment to change the content on my blog.A big thanks for the idea. And the update did not happen earlier due to a heady mix of busy and lazy. Laters.]

41 comments:

Chriz said...

this is definitely a different type of post from you...
really great mithun boy...

and little kids do many mistakes and they do learn..neatly written
claps

Jadis said...

i second chriz.
for once you kept the expectation going and made it reach the point where we wanted it to reach.
:D

although your other stories are brilliant too, there's that little dip at the end, which has a charm of its own. THIS one is in a league of its own.

I HEART it.
\m/

go-phish said...

"salt crumbs from a shaker on a used dinner table."


the images in it, i love.

AlooFar said...

You're a fantastic blogger/writer.

Nikki said...

Interesting... but dont stray away!

Trinaa said...

wht wht? wht happened? :o

Preeti said...

Beautiful scribbler...

you know something, i love the fact that you retain the darkness in all your writings. and i love the way you have brought out the relationship between the characters. and i also love the semi autobiographical touch that you've given. but i mostly love your metaphors. they are absolutely breathtaking.

i wonder how you humanize non-human entities...

"He stuck his hands deep into his pockets and wished he was somewhere else." -

i feel this so many times. it is as though you have picked out words from my mind and put them down here.

achcha hai...

heady mix of busy and lazy can certainly be very intoxicating...
:-))))

Preeti said...

but that does not mean you procrastinate for long...samjha...

Illeen said...

dark is ur genre..and the result is always awesome.. nursery rhymes,highways,hospitals even rats...can ne'r guess what would be ur next food for such stories..

A true delight.. :)

Think Tank said...

arey plz dont chng the content ...just luv the scary thrill ..dont hide ur horns dude

satwika said...

The only word i get is AWESOME....ABSOLUTELY THRILLING...Found ur bolg thru a search for smething else..U r a gr8 at writing Dark creative stuff...the pirate one is too good too....this is goin to b in muh favs!

Shoe Girl said...

Loved the way you wrote from the Kids viewpoint... brilliant prose:)

rantravereflect/ jane said...

dark n devilish..
clawed feet n thorns n stubs n bats n tomatoes n used tables --> gee, i got transported into adifferent world out there,,

every child comes out with its own whacky imagination, i love this one: after all happy ducks are the only happy occupants of a lake that is otherwise filled with greasy algae, blue n forgotten corpses, lake ghosts that come alive in the night and clawed web feet that eerily wade the waters right underneath the happy duck..

gosh,, i spooked myself out there..

you have that effect on ya readers--> ya make them conjure a sppoky world out there!
kudos scribbler!

Sarath said...

wow, one more awesome post. enjoyed it thouroughly...

forgive me father , for I have sinned!!!!

swati said...

hey plz dnt ever change ur genre..ur just too good with dark stories..
"He wrote a story which had ducks, a pond and some kids fishing. There was nothing dark about it. In fact, it was a very happy story. Till the time, one of the edges caught fire on its own"..see this is wat happens wen u try to do smething out of ur intrst..

TheDropper said...

great writing.

Heer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HP said...

wooooooooooooww !!! haha !! wonderful!! :D

WarmSunshine said...

Loved the imagery. Simply loved the imagination behind it. A work that's highly appreciable!

Keep writing :)

Mehreen.

Agnes said...

LOL mixture of being busy and being lazy.... that's what's so great about having your own blog. No deadlines :-)

Cinderella. said...

Totally loved this !!
Amazing imagery and perplexing thrill which you surmounted to the fullest towards the end !!



p.s : I couldnt get the idea behind "salt crumbs ". I mean "salt crumbs" ??

harish said...

ahhh.....nicee how you justify yourself, huh?

BTW...read american gods? see a lot of parallels here...

lukkydivz said...

Mixed emotions,laughed like a pig in the beginning :P
this is the only blog I know that has some 50 followers ;). why do u have to change ur style? People love it junior ;)

Preeti said...

I've renamed you on my blogroll, scribbler...figure out without cheating who you are....

:-))))

Amrita said...

:)
thats wht was thr on my face at the end of the read!

The Shmoo said...

Goosebumps goosebumps gooooooooooooosebumps!

Chrisann said...

Nice :) loved the use of colour, thanks for stopping by.

scarlett thunder.. said...

transcedental!!!!

:-)
thanks fr appreciating my poem..thot it ws pathetic..
u dint even understand a word f it, did u...

mystiquedew said...

best line was the salt shaker on the table..very nice :)

Jay El Bird said...

He stood there leaning against a lamp post, the only lamp post which seemed to be switched off in the whole lane.

.....Just because we like lingering in shadows..doesnt make us dark.. or does it?

have been reading your blog from a while... ink black. This was a good post.

kool said...

woah ! real nice post.. sorry for not commenting all this while...

Golden Words said...

nice read..
u write pretty good ya know..

utopia said...

hmmmmmmmm yeah tis was different.
so u experimenting with different writing styles now scribbler? heheh!

Stupidosaur said...

same same but different.
different different but same.
which is a good thing :)

Nits said...

phew man!!! amazing simply superb!
just love the way you show your dark side!

Mystique said...

you know, this could be YOUR story.


so, do you have horns?

Roopa said...

you are this world's Doctor Faustus, aren't you :D!

i loved the imagery - poached blanket, salt crumbs from a shaker, sweeping up lost paper planes...!

Sayani said...

Thats a marvelous one and not very often i reach till end without flickering my mind

hope u won't mind if i blog roll u ?

regards
sayani

triyash said...

supercool...

Anonymous said...

О! 写这篇非常感谢,这是unbelieveably信息,并告诉我一吨

neha joshi said...

amazing......

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