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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Machine- Part 4

When Ronnie came home, his brother had already left. The washed clothes were kept in a neat stack. He went and pulled out the shirt, the one that had a mark of his midnight ramblings. The mark was there. Either the machine was a flop or his brother needed a shot of the “elder brother ” vaccine. He walked over and flipped through his set of clothes. Spotless. This was not going the way it was supposed to. This was not according to plan. This had to be corrected. The way he had corrected him when he had caught him stealing money. When he had refused to go down on his knees. When he had tried to rebel. This was going right over the fence. Gone.

His brother was almost home.

***

Ronnie had not gone towards the washing machine when he had come home. He did not remember why he was not supposed to, but he knew he had to stay away. Then his younger brother walked in. There was plenty of violence where Ronnie only laughed. Some moments later, it was done. Ronnie walked out of the room, knowing that his end had been achieved. He had taken revenge off his younger brother. He had taken revenge off the machine too, but he still failed to remember why that was required. It was a washing machine. Nothing but a dumb piece of electrical hogwash. What was wrong with this idea then? He was glad to have left the house. That he surely was glad of.

***

He lay bleeding. There were bruises everywhere. He had been done in pretty well. He sat there, against the wall, laying curses in his mind. He did not deserve this. But, for the first time in his life, remorse had come horse riding with revenge. His body burned with hurt and hatred. He would do something this time. He knew that the machine did not clean anyone else’s clothes. He knew that the machine was on his own side. But now, he wanted the machine to do him a favor.

A very important one.

[final part coming up tomorrow! Stay put! :) ]


23 comments:

utopia said...

are u only gonna be writing stories and not tell us what u r upto? i love the stories but even then. :-)

The Rat... said...

SI.... my head is whirring now... who is the bad guy.. the bro, Ronnie or WM.... Or YOU????

HP said...

tomorrow ??!!?!?? why, scribbler, why??
just post the damn thing! :P

Zlaek said...

You'd rather it was a complement, yeah?

If you pick a part of it and choose to ignore the rest, it's complement :)

But I won't deny i'm following this fluff. It amuses me.

Arunima said...

I wonder hw i missed this series!!

nvr mind...btr late then never.
REad all 4 parts 2day bt i missed the temptation dat might have build up had I read them as it came( in d 2 b continued manner)

But d elder brother is so cruel...nobody does so 2 their sibling.

Desperately waiting 2 read the end.

Tara said...

Waiting for the final part! Loved the way the story went, like a sharply edited film. Cut, cut...

Thanks for dropping by! Keep coming! :)

Scribblers Inc said...

utopia: personal experiences would happen too; but when, I cannot predict...For quicker updates, call or ping! :D

rat: That lies to the discretion of the reader! :)

HP: Patience da!

Zlaek: If you look around, you would notice that there has been no dearth of compliments, so you could skip if you wanted to...on the other hand, I totally encourage constructive criticism but randomly calling someone's writeups "fluff", and saying that they "amuse" you is a little ameteurish, dont you think? :)

arunima: Welcome! and thanks for the compliments! final installment coming up tommorow! stay tuned! :D

rantravereflect/ jane said...

bwaaaaaaaaaah :( i though ya would end my misery..
i usually enjoy reading ya pieces while i'm at it, cos i know my curiosity n interest is gonna get quenched in the end, but this time around, i'm just dying at teh end of it all to know what the fuk happens?!!

nowww, ya better fill us in on the favor n the END in ya next post :)
cumon, be a sugardaddy!

chandni said...

u have a great blog going this side!!!!

Will be back tomorrow :)

Preeti said...

Hey scrib, i just read the whole thing and it seems to work better that way...
you know its like this you watch something that keeps you at the egde of the seat with bated breath and when it ends you exhale. BUT here the exhaling is happening with a lot of difficulty because... ITS NOT GETTING OVER...aarrrrghhh!!!
why dont you just be done with the thing today...?

CяŷştąŁ said...

I agree with HP!
Post the whole damned thing :((

Zlaek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zlaek said...

I looked; there's complements pouring in. On one hand hand, u claim you're open to constructive criticism, on the other... well i know what you're saying.

The others who are encouraging you are not being fair- not to your talent, not to your potential.

The fresh expressions used for description, the serious humour, the sequencing, and particularly way you wrap up your scenes, is unusually good. And then the product of it---?

Something Insubstantial, inconsequential. Nothing relevant to what it could have, and should have given form to. And that hurts, if you know what I mean.

What is amusing, is to see perfect components melting together, forming one big nothing.
I strongly believe that that's not what it's worth.

I'm sorry for this absolute digression.

Think Tank said...

*relishing it*..dude what in the hell r u doin working in an office..get down to publishing this stuff..now!

Think Tank said...

wow ..i luv th devilishness of it

Illeen said...

's getting gorier and scarier.. finally the wait wud be over tomorrow..

Scribblers Inc said...

tara: Thanks a ton!! :D

jane: I would be a total sugardaddy tommorow!! I promise! :D

chandni: Thanks a ton! and be right back for the Finale!

Preeti: One more day only na! And you are anyways one of my favourite critics!You dont say this atleast! :)

Crystal: Bas ho gaya na! Kal final! :D

go-phish said...

well i agree with utopia...updates on the usual toooooo! :)

Scribblers Inc said...

Zlaek: This is a lot better, but dont you understand the basic idea? The story is still not over! Let the darned thing get over; THEN jump to conclusions!! What da! :D

Think Tank: Thanks for your compliments, but I guess there are people "above" you who majorly beg to differ! :D

Ileen: Yep it would be! :)

Zlaek said...

'....but i guess there are people "above" you who majorly beg to differ'-- LMAO.
classic puns..

No, i fail to see the basic idea. Yeah, we'll let the darned thing get over. And THEN we'll jump to conclusions. Done.

krystyna said...

I'll be back to read all parts in my more suitable time.

I'm glad to meet you!

Scribblers Inc said...

Zlaek: more like it! :D

Krystyna: Do come again! damn nice of you to go through almost the whole blog! :D

Preeti said...

:-)

Ok i'll wait. i am known to be the paragon of patience. and well, after all it is YOU my favourite writer. so...sigh!!!

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