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Friday, October 24, 2008

highway...




Silence screamed at the trees peopling the highway as she walked into the fading light of the setting sun with measured steps. Late again. No buses or anything that would take her home at the this time of the night. "Take a step, one at a time, and we would find some way to go home", she promised her feet as they ambled along, unknown of the distances that they would walk among alien foliage, at a time when you could cut through the darkness with a knife. The streetlights, sparse as neglected diamonds, winked at her knowingly, seemingly aware of the fate that seized travellers at this hour.




The rat had woken up and was starting to crawl around now. It went sniffing around at first, trying to find whatever defences it could chew through. There was still time. The night was young, yet, and it would have a whale of a time in the coming moments. It knew she could not run away even if she wanted. At least once it was awake. It now was. Soon it would be scurrying across, causing some massive mayhem and total upheaval. It knew she had a name for it.




She called it Fear.




The car was old for sure and you could make it out from the peeling paint at places. It was not a very lavish car either, but one look and you could label it as someones bygone royalty. The entire structure now creaked occasionally, like a rusted almirah, when it got rolling on wheels which had seen younger days. Tonight, it rolled along, a silent nightmare. It now crossed the trees which had stood as silent spectators when the girl had crossed them, covering distances in a fast gallop. Another five minutes and it would be with the girl.



She walked along, now counting stars, now humming a song. The trees still refused to speak to her, unlike crickets who seemed to be exchanging treasure troves of knowledge among themselves. It was totally dark now, and there were goosebumps popping on her flesh. She occasionally turned to praying, hoping that she would find some mode of travel. She could now hear the faint noise of an engine drawing closer.



The rat was totally awake now.



He lit a cigarette and puffed like a wheezing vacuum cleaner. The leather on the seats were dull and the speedometer, weighed down with journeys beyond memory, had finally breathed its last. The fuel gauge looked unsure as well. A little skeleton head, perched on crossbones, dangled merrily from his rear view mirror.


She heard the car approach and saw it halt at a few steps from her. She walked on, head bowed, hoping to pass by like a spirit, unseen. The car idled, a figure moving towards the passenger's seat. The door unlatched and opened exactly at the same time as she reached the car. She had the first view of the guy who would be giving her a lift tonight.


The rat was scurrying frantically now.All hell seemed to have broken loose. It went around scratching, gnawing at whatever it could. Not long now. The rat would soon reign supreme.

Fear would rule...



She stepped into the car with her nerves giving her a mighty hard time. It was okay after all.

(nonononono)

Strangers were not supposed to take you off the road and then...

(dont think dont think)



They were the last people who would ...you know...

(stopstopstopstop STOP!!!)



Her gaze shifted to the guy driving the car. Unknown to her, his left hand had slid into the left pocket and clutched something.

(not a gun oh lord please not a knife oh god shitshitshit)


He came out with a cigarette and lighted it. The skull dangled on, uncaring about the situation of the new passenger. He drove on not as much giving her a second glance since the time she had got into the car. They raced along into the night, turning roads into forgotten memories. The rat seemed to have settled down for now.He finally turned to her and said,


" Say...Would you want to hear a ghost story?"







48 comments:

Jadis said...

Jesus!
That so well captures that awfully familiar feeling...
:D



...they call it fear.

Jagjit said...

That was superb. Engrossing.

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Phew! You have a way with words dude!

Good one

Cheers

Rakesh
http://almostsunday.blogspot.com

Preeti said...

Exhaledddddddd......

seriously scribbler...you need to be held and shaken for giving birth to so much fear... phew!!!

atmosphere...thats what you create...an atmosphere of sheer fright and bloody unpredictability.
sun suddenly disappears behind clouds and everything becomes dark and a cold finger runs chillingly down the spine causing the shivers ...

how many times, how many times have i resisted scrolling down and reading the end...but my stupid brain refuses to let me do it and prolongs the feeling of fear...

tch...AMAZINGLY WRITTEN...
damn... i sound like a bloody stuck tape...

PS: last night when i went up the life your words came unbidden into my mind and i almost panicked ... sheesh...!!! paagol

Stupidosaur said...

Nicely gripping description.
Good anticlimatic punchline ;)

Ani said...

whoaaa..

spookyy.. reminded me of those ghost stories ..hehe and the ghost that i managed to see.. oh well.. was a nice read :)

got any more coming up ??

deepsat said...

nicely written!!!

wow!!

;-))

Preeti said...

By the way...the word in the PS was *lift* not *life*...

sheesh... lift life...what the hell... the journey up that lift of mine is like a journey of life...

and its been raining non-stop over here...so the weather is anyway dank, grey and spooky...so the reading becomes all the more crazy...

Chriz said...

parallel stories.. finally united..man the story rocks.. the climax reached its pinnacle.. apt ending... i am standing and typing this comment .."standing ovation"

Sarath said...

awesome as always...

sachin said...

hi dear friend,
how r u?
ur blog is very nice...
pls visit my blog for great information..

http://spicygadget.blogspot.com/

http://www.techtrance.net/

thank you dear

Happy Diwali in Advance...
enjoy the festival with happiness..

take care..

Anurag said...

The Spooky Tales Of Scribbler Continues....This Time involving a rat and a Highway :D

Reminded me of Vivek Oberoi and Darna manaa Hain :P

Abhinav said...

!!!!

}:-O

!!!

CяŷştąŁ said...

Mithuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :O

Stop scaring people away (waise don't worry..people like don't suffer coronaries tht easy!) :P

Good one again.
I am awful at writing ghost-y stuff,mahn!
You did justice with it.


;)
Re-blogrolled you :D

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Wow! Super creepy!!!

You need to get your work published in book form.

I have goosebumps!
Sheesh!


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Solitaire said...

And a brilliant masterpiece..once again!

Illeen said...

I actually visualized myself as the girl walking down the highway.. had been stuck up all alone once on a lonely road with a broken down vehicle at night..i know the fear.

beautifully drawn..very engrossing.Doing what u are always good at. :)

Vinisha said...

Haha.

I am still laughing.

Love the ending.

The Rat... said...

that brain of urs.....


gawd.... wud like to peek into its cellular org sometime....

Nicely captured .... :-)

comfortably numb said...

man...if sum1 cud bring even half ur words alive on screen, v will hv a spooky blockbuster on our hands.
well dun:)

Diana said...

Phewwww.....!!!! Deep breath!!!!!!!!!!!!! am ok now.

Spooky as always n Very thrilling......Mithun.

U r really good at this....start officially publishing them.

Jhayu said...

@ Scribbler.
Fuck.

I'm waiting on the book release.


Fuck.

How do you do it!!!???

not intellectual enough said...

WOW!!!

Swayam said...

your ability to build up suspense is stupendous... brilliant piece of work... and the ending just takes your heart away, literally... creepy...

Mystique said...

hmm.

read my blog. my last entry is you-inspired.

WAR10CK said...

the ending was nice.

"would you like hear a ghost story..."

that was really good

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

Pretty Cool :-)

ki said...

WELL DONE!
*applauds*

Echo said...

brilliant as always..
i luv d way u rite its like super engrossing but dun u think ur blog wants some change on content now!!

Anu said...

Gripping as usual.. when do u think of this stuff..??

Preeti said...

Abbey Scribbler...

HAPPY DIWALI...

:-)

Vinz aka Vinu said...

:)

loved it...any plans to script write a third 'Darna Mana Hai'

?

CяŷştąŁ said...

Happy Diwali,Mith!

Whre the heck are u? :O

harish said...

Awesome piece...

Go on like this and you will be giving Saki some real competition!!

Think Tank said...

to rat kar kya raha tha ..i got scared without understandin even

Dwiti said...

amazing photos... truly..

joiedevivre said...

phew!!!

$mit@ said...

riveting!

Marina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marina said...

Superb. I've been through similar situations and you took me through the same fear with just your words. *applause*

nefariousoutlook said...

dude you are truly amazing ...and the best part is you definitely belong to the dark side... :)


keep posting dude...

Vaudevillian said...

beautiful. you must know consistency well.
I need to call her.

Nikki said...

Yaar kya kahe... lets name you Le Spooky Scribler ha! Well written undoubtedly!

Nikki said...

Yaar kya kahe... lets name you Le Spooky Scribler ha! Well written undoubtedly!

Macadamia The Nut said...

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brilliant!!

spicymist said...

oya temme does spelunking mean exploring caves or something like that? me can look it up in google but too lazy n since i read it in ur blogger profile thot mite as well ask u

Running in circles. said...

UPDATE!!!

Suhasrocz said...

it is good , but could have been better buddy.....the story is good.....highway, car & a lonely gurl......creates a good atmosphere for spookiness.....story speaks abt fear but it lacked fear.....but u have a long way 2 go....

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