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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Caught...


The evening gave her a despicable look as she stared back with equal distaste. The office lay empty, save for staring monitors and toothy keyboards. She shut off her workstation and headed towards the lift.


Jessica Whitebridge always hated lifts because she always saw things in them. Rotten things. Evil things. Things that people would not believe if she told them about it. So she did not. She would never board a lift and talk about lifts to anyone till a lift ride with a sight so scary would totally freeze her existence seven years later...


She forcefully shut off the novel in her mind. She would have to stop reading the creepy novels alone at night, before their peek-a-boo activities become a part of her daily existence. Her nerves had totally become shot off late for a handful of reasons. She lived alone and she read novels which would not form a part of a regular read of the usual bookworm. She, at this moment, could not pinpoint a third reason which would offer a testimonial to her jangled senses.


She reached the lift and waited as it came up from the bowels of insanity itself. "Stop!", she screamed inside her head and felt as if her head would pop like a corn. The lift came and stopped with a lurch in front of her. The door slid open like a deathwish, almost inaudible. The lift stood silent almost waiting, asking her to step in.


Jessica would not step in ever because she knew the things always waited in hiding and never appeared till the door of the list closed. It seemed empty and there was nothing to be scared of. She would not step in, oh, how could she? She would not. She would...


"Stop!", this time aloud. A few pigeons fluttered, slightly disturbed in their quest for the 53rd root of a really long number. She got into the lift and swore to herself that she would give up reading the novels from the next morning. Tonight, she had to know what happened to the girl who was afraid of lifts. Would she die? Would she turn into something that would not communicate ever again? Would she...


She had stepped into the lift and the door had closed behind her. The single light on the roof flickered, dimmed almost into nothingness and stayed as it always did. She could feel the insides of the lift turning cold. They were coming. It was almost frigid now. She breathed hard, rasps coming out like smoke from a brick kiln. She touched the sides of the lift. They felt cold; Dead cold. There was something wriggling inside the transparent button which said "G". She could see a mist in front of her face as she breathed. Any moment now...


"Damn! No wonder this piece of rut seems to be taking forever!", she said and pressed "G" on the lift. The lift gave a slight lurch and started humming in satisfaction as it headed for the ground floor. She would read the book tonight, she thought, as she mopped a drop of sweat off her brow. She smiled to herself as the button marked "G" glowed softly, pulsing as if with a life of its own. The lift moved slyly downwards, a taskmaster who never failed to deliver people to their destination. Mostly...

63 comments:

Preeti said...

tch tch tch...

kya scribbler...kya hai ye...? Ha?

if i had a heart problem i would have popped like a corn...cheee now im sure im going to remember this everytime i get into the bloody lift. and i live on the last floor.

the imagery is so vivid. i wonder how you so beautifully transport the reader into the skin of the character?

kaise karta hai yaar...?

seriously...!!!
tch!!!

Chriz said...

haha... i love lift rides.. would come up with a post on it soon..
they way u narrated it is good .. conversation within her mind... thats cool

Crepuscule Colour said...

Wow.. I almost expected Dementors. Sheesh. But they aren't half as scary as "rotten, evil things" which don't actually exist in the world. This was all too familiar, an over-active imagination + a phobia. Almost stops my heart in its tracks. I never get into a life alone. OR go all the way downstairs when no light is on. Scary. Creepy. Phew.

Crepuscule Colour said...

lift* :D

Abhinav said...

now nobody will sing the song.. "Mujhko bhi too lift karaaade"...

Che said...

dark dark dark!
me likey!
Quit your job and write a book or something :P

Anurag said...

dude did u make this up in the lift :P

I would hv to think now before taking the life..though have to say that was a nice ending .....

HP said...

"A few pigeons fluttered, slightly disturbed in their quest for the 53rd root of a really long number." - awesome ;)

i'll have to think a million times before i get into a lift next. and u had to post this at night, didn't you? so that we dream scary, claustrophobic lift dreams with you peeping in them and laughing your butt off, hai na?? yes. i know the devil mind is waiting for us to fall asleep. gosh! i can picture your face stuck on lift going "muhahaha".

MUMMYY !!!

Sia said...

fabuluso
loved it...
one helluva scare!
imona dream about the lift tonight. and like hp said, those pigeons are gonna smile evilly at me with their dratted calculators in hand.
*shudder*

∂єяαngє∂ ιnѕαnιту ^.^ said...

Dude! Why is it always that no matter how much I try, I don't get ur posts at all. But still, I'm always here, trying to understand a bit of what you wrote!

Illeen said...

I shouldn't have read this.. m such a chicken already..Would be reminded of the story every time i step into the lift alone..

brilliant ending.

lukkydivz said...

each time i come here, am left speechless!

are koi novel likh na, wud love to read ;)

Bluebutterfly said...

Somehow, even after reading this at almost midnight I am so not scared which is all because of a particular lift in a mall where I ended up on the same floor where I had started from. *funny but really embarassing*

oh, and you.are.good.

Mishra said...

Bhaisaab, post matches the template background.You have an amazing vocabulary Sir- I envy you honestly.Keep rocking !

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Dude..... have u seriously considered writing? If not..... its time to! If yes, then (w)ri(gh)t(e) away!

Jhayu said...

Dammit. When I was reading this, my brother snuck up on me and put a hand on my shoulder. I don't need to tell you what my reaction was.

Gah. How dost thou do it?

rantravereflect/ jane said...

hhaaaaaaa..

mr. ram gopal verma, why dint ya put a phoonk into the lift :(

ya did scare me though--> i always get shitttt scared when i sleep alone at home..

n that's when dexter(the new-gen american serial killer)n ghosts (from ghost whisperer n bhoot) really haunt me :(:(:(:(

i 'm alone in my room reading this, n damnnnn ya scribbler, ya're making me pee in my pants.
ALMOST!

P.S.:
loved the MOSTLY in the end :)

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

hmm creepy... cool...

deepsat said...

spooky and funny! lift?? ;-))

comfortably numb said...

vivid imagination u hv...ddnt find it vry scary though:D
but yeah, do contact Ramu, ur script is way better than Phoonk:)

divinediu said...

WOW. I am claustrophobic. Lifts are okay. But your stuff, wow. :O

Trinaa said...

brrrrrrrrrrr...pich now even lifts...! :(

awesome!

The Rat... said...

damn good way to scare away a claustrophobic person....

creeps...

Neo said...

:D

Cecilia said...

im glad i have stairs to reckon with atm :P thks for scaring the daylights outta me..take tht as a compliment..ur real good!

harish said...

wow...the mental imagery you painted was damn creepy man...and a lil urban-gothic!! Gave me the chills!!

Jagjit said...

Hair raising, I must say :)

Amrita said...

phew!! nice one :D

spicymist said...

wow a story within a story. awesomeness man. this is your first post which im reading . and definitely not the last
cheers

Mystique said...

somehow this din freak me out as much as some of your others have.
i'm based in the gulf right now. Muscat. Oman.
i live on the third floor. the lift in my building breaks down every month.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

swati said...

u really need to quit all othr jobs n go on to write a novel...trust me it wud be the bestseller....
i hope i dnt develop a lift phobia aftr reading this...

Prianca said...

read ur post.....and no i was not scared. but i really liked the way you ended it, the last word of your post helped to bring an altogether different affect.

ypur post was nice, midway thru the post i cud sense that ram gopal verma effect.
the problem is i do not get scared, so maybe it failed to bring the desired effect on me, but i can assure you other mortals wud have been shit scared, especially who suffer from this phobia. 9i can bet there are many)


nd your frnds are right, go lock yourself up and write a novel. you will emerge a winner

Heart'n'Soul said...

WOHO
u r movin from good to better with each of these spooky tales of urs man!!!

But I love it tottalllly... and i loved the ending "MOSTLY"

hahahaha.... its like just whn u thinkin its all gone.... sumthn strikes back...LOL

Much fun

¢яŷştąŁ said...

Lol..
Kya re?

Lift se darr?
I agree with Crepuscle Colour..I was expecting Dementors too :P
Wll woven!

Sahefa said...

cool, creepy, funny, spooky, wonderful!!!

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

Strains of Stephen King. You'll be responsible for making lift obsolete.

randomrobin said...

:)
So really what happened?!

metal-militant said...

Haha.Nice story.Though how you can see creatures in a lift is beyond me.Maybe its a time portal hidden somewhere?

Chriz said...

hop down for some fun... i meant to my page..

Swayam said...

awesome work like always... lifts dont know..am not too fond of them...

Ani said...

thanks for giving me a fright for getting in to lifts.. especially if i am alone and if its in the night ;)

but jokes apart.. lovely scribb..

nicee one ..
is there going to be a continuation.. just in case..

Express said...

Ah! back after a long time and wht sexy description man..

I especially liked the time when she is abt to enter the lift. also the ending; good job!

Macadamia The Nut said...

SUperb!!

Seriously man!

LOVED it! Especially parts where I could SO identify with the paranoia after reading something creepy
:D

Nikki said...

Whoa! I suddenly saw this death master like creature! I am afraid of closed elevators!

I have climbed eleven floors to avoid the lift ride! Darn... you dont make it easy!

But I enjoyed reading this on.

Friendly Stranger said...

hey.........I'm back to blogging!
Check out my space.....
Right now it's kind of rush hour for me so I'll check out the post soon!
Happy blogging!

Sensitive:-) Jigyasa said...

Sidney Sheldon & Daniel Steel effect.......but you way of writing keeps the reader glued to the copy....

Btw...have ya considered writing a book??? think abt it.....god bless!!

The Shimmering Hues said...

Hey, thanks for dropping by my blog and giving me a chance to read your amazing imagination!

You write swell :)though the ride on the lifs ar enever gona be the same again....esp for someone who s already paranoid about them :D

Have read some of your older posts too...and just one comment on them
"Start writing fiction, wud be a best seller" :)

Cheers....

mystiquedew said...

Gagagga! thank u freaking me about something as simple as the lifts...

Excellent work :)

mystiquedew said...

Gagagga! thank u freaking me about something as simple as the lifts...

Excellent work :)

Swati said...

53rd root of a really long number!! ;)

something as simple as lifts..damn you!

peace!

The Dude said...

very nice scribbler
really like the blog, will drop by to read more here for sure.
its always good to meet more fellow writers here and a fellow delhi-ite as well? killer!
you have a real gift, keep at it always. Its these things that are the true joys of life when other things seem bleak.
oh yeah, thanks again for dropping by my own blog and the nice comment.
Drop by anytime.

Cheers.

Roopa said...

Wow! You are a writer yourself. Coming from you, your comments are rare praise indeed. Thank you.

I was reminded of Roald Dahl after reading a couple of your stories - the menacing atmosphere, wayward poetic justice. And your imagery is stark. Beautiful!

AshenGlow said...

The lift at my office always used to do a free falling act for a microsecond at the second floor.. and this happened only when i used to be alone...

I thought of mentioning about this to someone... and after days of contemplation i actually did... to a colleague. And he said that it happened due to a technical snag about which ten other people had complained already.

Shucks... Life's boring, man...

And your post.... Interesting.. very!!
Sequel? Hmm? Out with it!!

Regards,
Ashen

tr3nta said...

Very good photo... I love the light and the symmetry on it. Bravo.

Six Feet From the Edge said...

So yesterday, as I finished reading your little piece of writing...I looked up and realised that I was the only person left in the office (Spooked). And then as I stepped out near the lift, I just kept thinking back to your story. I actually contemplated skipping the lift and taking the stairs. And my office is on the 41st floor.

So yeah super neat writing.Coz it got me spooked and I am very brave usually. Ahem.

PS- Oh and I absolutely need to know where can I get the song that plays on your blog- Mere Yaar ?

The Shmoo said...

OMF(reakin)G!!!!!!!!
Nice.

Vinz aka Vinu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vinz aka Vinu said...

the switching of mind from reality and the fiction was done superbly...
loved it mate..

:)

Xorkes said...

ahaaa
first timer in ur blogger..
creeepy story
u' be expecting frequent visits 4m me now ;)

ki said...

Lifts make me claustrophobic and NOW they'll have me petrified as well. :P

Express said...

Hey! I mentioned u in my 50th!

come check! :-)

The Queen Bean said...

hmm, i've never really been fond of lifts [except the shiny chrome ones] but you make me feel scary :|

but, I was hooked till the end..dayum nice :D

Priya said...

I hate taking lifts anyway, and now I will hate them more than evuh!!!

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