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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ze story of ze soopid callers...


Aloha...have been away for some time, and there have been some "under" developments. I am under stress due to rising inflation and the rising tirades of the existing auto wallahs.I am also under obligation to my office people for choosing the most god-forsaken place on the planet to build an office in, where most fear to tread. Most of all, I am under intense obf-li-gation(try pronouncing it...its fun!!) to the callers who decide to call my workplace and the guard at the reception (no bimbette there!!!) who happily forwards these soopid, stewpid, stooooooopid calls to me.

Alright, Shakespeares, STUPID calls.

*rrrring* *click*
C:"Hello??Radio Station se bol rahe hain?"
(No.you have reached the Railway Status Enquiry.Press one if you are single or press two if you WANT to be single!!)
Me: "Haan boliye."
C: "Ji actually hamein yehi wala Radio Station Alwar mein kholna hai...Iska franchise kaise kharid sakte hain?"
(Why not???You could open up the station and also sell piping hot masala dosas and coconut water too!!It will add to our station's alternate revenue and also become a franchise in the true sense of the word!!)
Me:"Nahi...Actually aisa allowed nahi hai..."
C: "Lekin hamare paas budget hai..."

*click* *beeeeeeeeeee*

***


*rrrring* *click*
C: "Radio Station se bol rahe hain??"
(Bad luck there!!you have just reached the self-destruct zone of the tele-network...in 5 seconds you lose your human status and become a chimp...54321...eeeep)
Me(doped):Haaan...boliye...

C: "Aapka studio hai??"
(Here I really lost him.There were two possibilities;Income Tax Department or better, he had really changed into a chimp!)
Me: "Haan... bataiye..."

C: Actually, I am singer. I compose song and write also. I want to use studio to make album.
(Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the next big thing in the music industry;the Radio Studio Singer!!*deafening and blinding applause*)

Me: "Sorry...Aisa to hum nahi karte..."
C: "To aapke paas studio nahi hai??"
(@$%&*!!!!)

*click* *beeeeeeeeeee*


And that, my beloved junk readers, is not the end of it all.When I thought the calls couldnt get worse off than these (besides song dedications, RJ audition calls etc), there came the mother of all calls till date day before yesterday.



*rrrring* *click*


C:Hello...kaun bol rahe hain??


Me: You called up...aap bataiye...


C:Actually main rajesh bol raha tha...mujhe janna tha ki aap degree Haryana University se dete hain ya Kurukshetra university se?


(at this point in time my brain did a backward summersault and imploded...a red light blinked for two seconds and the backup power came on...)


Me: Degree to hum dete nahi...Waise aapko kya degree chahiye?


C:Mujhe Business Management mein Bachelors karna hai aur travel ko added subject rakhna hai...


(backup fizzles out....)


Me: Aapko kahan baat karni hai??


C:Ji Yeh Jagannath Institute of Management Studies hai na??


*click* *beeeeeeeeeee*



And that my dear readers, is just another day in office.


(Disclaimer:all the calls above are absolutely real and bear no resemblance to any person imaginary.The institute exists as well."Doped" is just an expression.Well, atleast here.Besides, "C" is supposed to denote "caller" and NOT any other expletive that comes to your mind.The motto of the post is nothing but to entertain and not to demean anyone.Radio has a long way to go to really make people understand its true meaning!! :) )


Laters.

70 comments:

utopia said...

hahahah!!!!!!soooo what do u do?

Aayushi~ said...

Lol.:D

Whats this 'actually' supposed to be?

Chakoli said...

LOL....

so fiunally what u did??

Lijy said...

its nice na.. good timepass.

so u get to work and have fun too, rie?

Metrosexual Monk said...

lmao! gets right up my nerves when someone calls up and blurts out "aap kaun?"

btw the song is just mesmerizing. whos it by? google seems to have completely lost touch with relevancy on this one.

Keshi said...

ty for dropping by my online home :)

Ur such a witty writer LOL! I loved this post.

Keshi.

Harry said...

ha ha...

mast hai boss...very funny..
an epitome of fun@work

tkcre

harry

Anurag said...

Roflmao !!!
The funny posts seem to be rolling out of your basket !!!
I thought Radio Station flush out the hoax calls beforehand??

Anonymous said...

*bows*

You had me in splits! I'm not going to under-rate it and say it was funny, but you get what I mean :)

-S

Anindita said...

in 5 seconds you lose your human status and become a chimp...54321...eeeep

Gosh! You had me in splits!!! =P
This is fucking brilliant!
* Thunderous Applause*

~ ॐ ~ said...

and I thought its only BPOs where we get the best of calls !!!

:)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Lol!

Nice track btw,is A R Rahman one of the singers?

Jadis said...

Heehaw!! Not really...! :D
Jeez! Talk about all kinds...honestly...
:P

Mishra said...

MAn..your office continues to amaze me

neha said...

truly entertaining!!hehe

btw u guys regard RJ audition calls as boring/weird? =(

Bikerdude said...

Heh heh cool blog! Keep 'em coming - will be back for more :)

Cinderella. said...

Hahahahaha....all ze convos were hilarious..to ze hilt !!!!
And the side-lines were awesome !

You must have such a fun time at office yaar !!

Good you added a disclaimer, lest ppl jump to shot at you coz you tried to have some fun !

Cinderella. said...

And I agree with Mishra !

inihos said...

you do get entertaining calls...

(and thanx for dropping by my blog)

VIDYA said...

a red light blinked for two seconds and the backup power came on..


LOLLL!!!

Hyperactive maniac said...

lol...interesting bunch of callers!

the franchisee thing was priceless!

El said...

JIMS, ho hyeah. <3

Divkiran said...

Hello??? Radio station se bol rahe hain???

Kya aap mereko apne radio station mein job denge????


LOL
had a good laugh ya...keep writing

ceedy said...

c (ceedy): hello
me (you) : haan bataye

c: how much is the stamp
me: huh???

c: suna hai aap acche post karte ho
me: yeh koi dakh khana nahi hai bhai

Anu said...

Lol , that was funny.. but if it was me, I would have conducted an interview of the bloke who wanted to join Business management as campus interview :D

gunj said...

lol...interesting!!

rantravereflect/ jane said...

buahahhahahaah..

press 1 if ya're single n 2 if ya wanna be single.. ;)

well i press 1: sooo ya give me a date?
i press 2: ya give me company? ;)
it's after all ya obf-li-gation.. (n i cudnt pronounce it btw ;))

masala dosas n cocunut water**yummm** is food on ya mind all teh time too??;)

red light n back up that fizzles out: well, ya must be using vista ;);)

sooo being an rj must be funnnn ryte???

Aayushi~ said...

Lol again.
Haven't seen you on my blog since long btw :P

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

lol amazing...heheheee... i actually spent a couple of min thinking"kya degree? what did i miss out on?"
gawd ppl can be soo stupid sometimes...
amazing post..
cio later..

Knatchbulley Hughzscene said...

ROFLMAO!!! :))

i love such callers.. i remember one lady calld up on my ghar ka fone n askd me if i sell papad n
pickles!!!!!

Butterfly said...

Wonderful!:-D
I understand that it really gets on your nerves at times. Love your sense of humour though.

usha said...

that 'degree' enquiry reminded me of the Kurkure Ad .. 'Degree? kaunsa chahiye? tumhara banvaa denge!' lolz!

God save your soul! :)

Scribblers Inc said...

utopia:I have been hired by a radio station to official sit and while away time...and be creative occasionally!! :P

aayushi:On the next post you may receive your answer!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

chakoli:finally I picked the phone and slammed it down the throat of the guy sitting next to me...LOL, I am just kidding ok??:)

lijy:I would term them as comical breaks actually!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

MM:the song is by a Delhi based band called Advaita...

Keshi:Glad you liked it!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

harry:O thankyou haiga paaji!!:)

anurag:yes they do...they flush it out to me!!!grrrrrrrrr....

Scribblers Inc said...

S:the comment means a lot...and I am glad to feature on your blogroll..you have some fab stuff happenin there!!:)

Anindita:dhonnobaad!!:)

Solitaire said...

Go eat a maggi for every such call. That will make your day!

Come check out the rebirth of Psychobabble (my first ever blog) when you can.

Meghna said...

OMG!!! U mst go crazy aftr such a tough day,.....and sick of me to thnk that beign an RJ is cool and easy! LOL!

WIsh u loads and loads of luck ki u dont get into the pagal kahana soon LOL!

Sach said...

:))
OMG!!! How do handle them?? I would ave surely quit the job!
Anyways great post! I still can't stop laughing :D

Am In Trance said...

Fuck The Duck...!!!
Its Awsum Dude...!!!
n' Hats Off... How U Handle It Bhai ??
TakeCare..
:)

Scribblers Inc said...

aum:others are lucky as well yaar!!:)

sameera:not actually...its advaita and the singers are ujjwal nagar and chayan...friends actually!!:)

silly billy:) said...

hahahaha..my brain just did two summersaults laughing..backward and forward..lol..hilarious:)oh ya..and the song is nice..

Scribblers Inc said...

jadis:all types is the word!!:0

mishra:arre aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

neha:not really...it depends on the caller...if you decide to wake up and decide to become an RJ, maybe yes!!:)

bikerdude:thanks....means a lot...u are one of my idol bloggers...:)

Scribblers Inc said...

Cinderella:ze thanks to zoooo!!:)

inihos:anytime!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

vidya:thanks!!:)

Hyper:thangs!!:)

go-phish said...

since everyone said very very very nice things... there seems to be no sense in adding to it.. but oh well! shoot sense! NICEEEEE!! FUNNY!!! I likeee! :P...

(using multiple alphabets adds a lil something to the comment na?) :P

Scribblers Inc said...

el:yahan kyon bata diya?:)

divkiran:that I will!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

Ceedy:LOL!!!:D

Anu:I thought about it, but that would have been a lil too mean!!:P

Sensitive:-) Jigyasa said...

Good Humor......but such things sometimes get on the nerves....when u have deadlines to meet....

JIMS I have heard of.....Did u find out the Radio in any case??

Scribblers Inc said...

jane:I am not an RJ.... :)

aayushi:In a while yaar...have been a lil stuck...

Scribblers Inc said...

harini:imagine my predicament!!!:)

knatch:what are you saying!!!!!:D

butterfly:thangs!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

usha:have to check that one out yaar...have forgotten how a TV looks!!:P

Solitaire:I have to get back to maggi!!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

meghna:thanks for comin...and no I am not an RJ!!:)

sach:glad you liked it!!:)

trance:why should I do that to the duck??erm...

Scribblers Inc said...

silly:thank youus!!:)

go-phish:multipppple alfaaabets arrrr sooooo funnnnnnn!!:)

Dip.. said...

tough job!

Gagan said...

Sorry to say....but I have to confess....though I myt regret it later....The call you got from a guy wanting a degree....well....that was ME!!!!



Cheers Mate! :)

Scribblers Inc said...

dip:temme bout it!!:)

gagan:are you serious????????

Paradox Phillic said...

Hilarious!!
Will come back for more :)

Ps said...

heh heh--what fun! If you manage to to be de-stressed that is!;)
And yeah--you just pretend to not follow the lines. Mothers can always tell! :D

Scribblers Inc said...

paradox:thank you!!:)

Ps:I guess mothers actually can...:P :)

Ranjani said...

First time on your blog, you have a nice space.
LOL! That was funny, particularly the last call, so you can "buy" college degrees online?

Av. said...

OMG!
You've gotta love Delhi for what it is.
Cheers, Lol.

Scribblers Inc said...

ranjani:I wish I knew that...I would have bought a few degrees myself!!:)

av:undoubtedly..."saddi dilli"!!:)

Minerva said...

First time on your blog!

And loved every moment or should I say every word of this particular post!

Thanks for making me laugh on an otherwise bleak day!

Runjoo said...

hey thanks for commenting on my blog...just got a chance to read this post of urs...hilarious! u write amazingly well...this post really brought a smile to my face.

Zlaek said...

OUTRAGEOUS! It paid to dig into your ancient posts!

I love laughing. I LOVE LAUGHING...

What are you doing... Come back with more of these.

ZLAEK

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