wibiya widget

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Me-Wanna/Be...

Allo, whadup?Things have been sort of a whirlwind of late and as a result, I did not get time to write much on the blog.No, actually I was kidnapped by Martians and was tested for terrestrial tolerance to martian bullshit. Not really, I mean you wouldn't want to talk about Your experience of being a part of the Indian contingent to the International Summit of Polka Dotted Umbrella Users, would you?

Okay Smartypants, I did not know what to write.There, I SAID IT!!


Looking at my previous posts,one must have definitely got the point that this blog is the result of a software bot malfunction.So, I thought, I might try to add a little bit of the human aspirational (inspirational, respirational??) value to it.Most of you guys who have cared to glance through the previous clog of words must have noticed that I am indeed a part of a Radio Station. But, ah, the bittersweet irony of life, I am not a jock. I am someone who pretends to be creative and also pretends to be extremely good at clacking the keyboard at brain-numbing speeds.But yes I have had my moments of glory behind the Microphone.That's the saga that I thought could deserve a little narration.


There was this jock(read Radio Jockey) who had to go on a leave for the marriage of some estranged cousin in Ranchi( often mentioned in association with the likes of the mentally deranged).As a result she recorded her show for a good week and left. The only problem that arose was the execution of live traffic updates from the studio.And who better to save the day than me;The saviour of the greedy (um needy??) and ill-begotten (downtrodden was it??).I was to do four traffic updates in two hours for a period of five days.That's when the catastrophe finally decide to rear its ugly head.


The On-Air console(read Radio Jockey remote control) resembles a badly drawn industrial township map by a fifth grader.It has a huge cache of brightly coloured buttons and a lot of twiddly faders which just go up and down and not sideways.The only buttons that I was asked to handle was a red button which was "OFF" and a yellow which was "ON".There was also this fader which was supposed to be pulled down after I had done talking and then push the red button which would switch the Microphone off.In the studio, on one of those days, I was struck by a bolt of creative lightning.I decided that the Fader in question was not of much consequence.So I put it up and let it be there.The rest of the job was done by the red button and yellow button.

What a discovery!!Less confusion, better and supreme control!!I was the master of the NASA-esque console!!Better still, in my own little cosmos, I was a friggin RJ!!

And then it happened.Between the traffic updates, listeners call up and tell you where the traffic jams are. So as soon as I finished an update, I lunged towards the telos kept at the side of the studio.All was going good. Till the I-am-listening-radio-in-car angel called up.


Me:"Radio *beep* bataiye jam kahan laga hai??"

C:"Maine aapka traffic update suna...mujhe song dedication karna hai."

(Lord help me NOT to shoot this guy dead over the phone.)


Me:"Sorry only traffic updates...please traffic update bataiye."

C:"Wo to nahi tha...magar...."

By this time I was about to go to the next caller.As I was about to disconnect his call and take the next, he said the words.My blood froze and the studio clock stopped ticking.My brains zzzed for some time and fused.


"Gaane ke upar aapki aawaz arahi hai..."


I looked at the console.The fader was up just as I had left it all the time.Only one thing was different this time.The yellow button glowed, glowed with the devil inside it.


THE MIC WAS ON!!

I reached the Red button which seemed a gazillion miles away and pressed it.The microphone was silent.A little vein at the side of my head throbbed merrily.I stepped out of the studio,praying the world had come to an end.Seemed it hadn't. But thankfully enough, no one had noticed. Slowly, very slowly, the world that I knew, came back into focus. It was intact.

Not even a nick.

Most people often decide that being an RJ is probably the next easiest thing to being a security guard. All you need to have is speech, comprehensive possibility of differentiating between a baboon and a banana and voila!!You are an RJ!!One and a half years later, I still hope to be one, THAT when I am on the inside. My idea is not to deter goals or crash hopes.All I would say is being an RJ is tough.Maybe not as tough as being an aeronautical engineer but tough nonetheless. With that, my dear reader, I rest my case.


(P.S.-It is indeed heartening to see that a lot of you guys seem to like what I write.More cases of twisted humor and horror coming soon.Keep reading!!)

Laters.

:)

104 comments:

Trinaa said...

"...marriage of some estranged cousin in Ranchi( often mentioned in association with the likes of the mentally deranged)"
...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i live in ranchi..huuuuumph..
..tho on second thots i just might be mentally deranged.. B-)

Cinderella. said...

And I thought RJs had the coolest jobs in the universe !!!!

Infact you are right, your twisted cases oh humor r indeed a fun read !

Just like this one was.
Keep them coming.

Metrosexual Monk said...

lmao!

good thing you didn't hum along the tunes of 'banjo' while live on air, if you know what I mean..

btw don't you have a 7 second delay or something?

gunj said...

dats a lot fo smebdy who dint hav anything to write!!
n u shud add sme ass-pirational value thr;)

cool post! love d song u hav on d player! which one is it?

Nits said...

man..loved the way you write..!
RJ ahem...bloody shit job yaa!
i respect all the RJ's henceforth!

Hiren said...

terrestrial tolerance to Martian BS ... :)

and now you know why multi level risk mitigation is importantand not redundant ... just to reduce the chances of a screw up :)

ur experience can be used as a case study !!!! :)

иidhi S said...

gosh wt a goof up... thnk god it went unnoticed...

too true.. it actually seems d coolest job... but yeah all cool jobs cm with its complexities.

Shrutilaya said...

Hahahaha..

Funny.

Anurag said...

You Should rename your blog from Scribbler Inc. ...to something more funnier..may be something like Comical Scribbler's Inc

btw I thought Rj'ing was easy ...Now I don't :P

Swayam said...

'All you need to have is speech, comprehensive possibility of differentiating between a baboon and a banana and voila!!You are an RJ!!'... haha loved it... who noes it better then me that talking can be tough... I mean I cant carry out conversations with people standing there in flesh and blood... what to talk about blabbering into the mike... and btw do rjs have scripts too, or its just their gift of the gab saving their ass.. and ofcourse their patience to handle weird callers, without becoming rude...God! bless those souls and the telepphone operators too..:)

humbl devil said...

rofl..

had the same kinda experience when i was in the skool play...all were given individual mics as we were enacting a debate on tv in the play...and suddenly all the mics went dead...and i started expounding my knwoledge of the choicest expletives to the sound guys...only to realize moments later that my mic was the only one which hadnt malfunctioned...:D

Solitaire said...

What a blooper!!

debasish.. said...

d entire experience was CrAzzY..
but i luvd it.

lol ... :)

nefariousoutlook said...

nicely written dude!! i always thought that RJs were the most chilled out people ..as their job was to blabber on radio :) so easy i thought :)

keep writing and thanks for dropping by dude:)

Saranya said...

Nice post with a good narration. except that I could not understand the conversation lang. guess it would have been more funnier if I could do. Still...you had an exciting incident and i guess RJ job would become much easier with experience :)

Thanks for stopping by and leaving comments on my blog.

Anindita said...

Blah, bloo, beep, bleep, blooper..

Tadaa!!

You make everything GOOD! :D

And seriously, change name of the blog, Pronto!! :)

comfortably numb said...

now tht is definitely a "woooosh" moment if ever there was one!!!

ceedy said...

make it a regular feature...could be unique :)

Knatchbulley Hughzscene said...

lol
whatta faux pas!!
koi ni.. u'll make a grt RJ..
all RJs r gud singers.. u must b 1 too.. eh???

lukkydivz said...

yes yes being an engineer is easier!
but if good singers can make good RJs, i can be one :P

Keshi said...

**that this blog is the result of a software bot malfunction

haha that cracked me up big time!


Keshi.

Divkiran said...

ROFL@Smartypants...

This reminded of my experience in the driver's cabin of delhi metro

Looked like some funky gaming console with a joy stick!!

Keep the humor comin man...much fun to read :)

ki said...

you think that's a goof up?
on my first day at my summer job job, I wanted to mail a colleague bitching about an authore, guess who I mailed by mistake???!!! The author!!!!!!!!!!
That was ugly.

arunima said...

awesome blog....
d post was a fun read!
i agree bein n rj is not just a cup of tea...i'm a theater person... n sometimes i find d situations quite as similar to an rj....
will go thru ur previous posts...
keep scribbing!

Lijy said...

that was really good. You should have been a writer...

Aneesh said...

I guess, I needed a dictionary by my side LOL
I learned a lot of new words, Thanks :)

Shikha... said...

hehhehe...good one...must have been quite an experience...

btw..I cant c myself in Scribbler's Reads :P

SwAtI said...

lol!! interestingly funny post.. :)
u have a way with words which is quite amazng to read.. waiting for more such cool posts..
Cheers!

Mystique Wanderer said...

ha ha....nice...well arent u glad u were a brief RJ even than a brief pilot...imagine leaving the flaps on...or wheels out after take off...

"umm atc we seem to be moving slowly today..."

"yeah dude now stop sticking ure wheels out or u'll not make it till landing"

Lena said...

i have heard about many cases like this but you manage to narrate it so cutely humorous that one wants to come back for more and more :)

Ferrin B said...

hahaha. that was funny lol

i'm new here and i love it! good writing!

Sachi said...

yes! ur posts are so well narrated that we, the readers are left with no options but laugh!!!
:)

The 'Mad' Orchid said...

Ive been often advised by my friends including to go n give audition for the RJ..nw do i realise hw tuff its.thxs to ur insights and inside view of ON AIR room..the remote control seems to be hard to handle..lemme c wil update u if get hold of one such remote controls..hey im quite enjoying ur twisted tales..cn i come here often im relly attracted to such 'media'cal :P stuffs.. awaiting more such lighters ;)

mayz said...

lol...so another one from d box of humour...man u rock!!!
damn m not in delhi otherwise wud have loved to heard dis blooper live!!!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Hello, and thanks for dropping by my page for the submarine races.

So... I have a request, if you please.

I was glued to this story from the beginning... until I got to the conversation, and (of course) it's the only part of the story that isn't in English... what happened?
What did he say? I missed the punchline!

The relevance of the whole mishap was lost in translation. Pout.

Please tell me what he said in English.

Thank you so much!


Scarlett & Viaggiatore (the lion)

aria said...

Never known an RJ :) it still sounds fun .. good read again..

The Rat... said...

Ouch....

There i "digged" it...

*me sighs*

Krazy Krimson said...

I wanted to be a RJ myself!! But then I am sure so did 90% of the population...

Sigh! after reading about the seemingly complicated life of RJ's, am I glad I changed my mind, when I did :P

You do have a very entertaining style of narration...

Adi Crazy said...

...and to me RJs were the coolest thing!!!

lol

And did u say you had nothing to write? This one was an ace buddy, keep posting!

happyz said...

"(Lord help me NOT to shoot this guy dead over the phone.)"

Can we do that??? leme know how... hope its not just meant for RJs to do the above....

Cheers!!

Mez said...

Oh ho

I need to be on a diffrnt waveleghth to get hang of ur posts. Will be back!

weevil girl said...

lmao
xD

ive heard that before. RJing requires patience and the skill of holding one's tongue too :P

funblog. oh and, thank you for dropping by at mine :)

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

I'm having trouble posting so please excuse if this came through more than once.

You have a breat "voice" and would ROCK if you had your own radio program. :D

JJ :D

Idling in Top Gear said...

Haha. Kinda similar situation - my boss didn't properly press the mute button on the speakerphone during a conference call and started critiquing the presentation that a vendor was in the process of making. Suffice it to say that when the vendor started explaining why "their product isn't bullshit" and why it "would work", my boss' face turned a bright purple.

Abhu said...

omg! okay... i actually fall into the category of those who think that being a RJ is "not so tough" :P
well, i had temporarily worked at a radio station this vacation, so i know what u mean by the console. and boy! it can be so damn confusion!
and yep, iam also one of those who like your style of writing. Hence, u have the pleasure of being blog rolled by moi! :D

Preeti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Preeti said...

I'd have died.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Sometimes it helps to just go with the instructions and not meddle around! :P

No career is a bed of roses.Behind the facade of success and glam,there always is loads of hardwork.

Ps said...

i'd have died.

Ria said...

Hey liked ur style of writing!i cant understand y do ppl think tht wht they r doin is the most difficult thing, and tht whtever others r doin is easy!i m glad i came across someone like u....i dint knw tht there were so many technicalities involved in being an RJ! :) But never the less i like the profession...and i agree with u its tough!

Express said...

Haha! cool!!

nice read. enlightening. :-P

Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak said...

:)
interesting write up..

i never thought all those traffic jam calls are genuine calls..

nice narration

Prats said...

I'm sure it was a very skilful tactic for getting some mean attention for the otherwise very creative guy behind the scenes... lol
U must have had a great time behind those sliders.....

Invincible said...

Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog.
You really write well and good luck to you. I hope to hear your voice on radio SOON !!

Javits said...

Prespiration? Enjoyed ure post!

Scribblers Inc said...

trinaa:being mentally deranged is a pre-requisite for a blogger I would say...:)

Cindrella:I would sure keep trying!!:)

metro monk:There sure is bro, but the deal is it works when you are aware of what you are upto...hence not applicable in this case!!:D

gunj:thankyou!!the song is called mere yaar...its a band from Delhi called Advaita.

nits:thanks...and yes, respect RJ's; they could do with a bit!!:D

Kenny said...

U got that right..u think a job is pretty cool so there'd be nothing to it but it's lot tougher than u expect. Loved the narration....n that is a lot on the mind for someone who didn't have anything to write abt!! ;)

Nice blog dude...will be back for more. Keep writing!!

Scribblers Inc said...

hiren:I have already started forwarding my case to leading universities specialising in bullshit management...I could sure do with a little extra income..:)

nidhi:very well put...and thank god!!

shruti:haa!!thanks!:)

anurag:come up with a few good suggestions no!!:D

swayam:I have been both...so u might as well pray for me a little!!:D

Scribblers Inc said...

humble:daang!!why did you stop writing dude??and why are you reposting?jawab chahiye humein!!:D

sol:yar..thoda to kuch likha karo...u seem to save all the critique for other blogs!!

deb:thanks mate!

nefarious:thanks and anytime mate!!:)

saranya:more thanone person has expressed similar concerns...next time, you would either find no hindi or subtitles!!:)

Trinaa said...

ya..it gives u an edge over other ppl doesnt it? ;)

Sahefa said...

thnx for cumin to ma blog....
loved da way u wrote ur experience

S said...

We always love what you write... and I do know how hard it is being an RJ, I've heard horror stories!

Mishra said...

Man, I personally loved the start of your post.It was real good.Crisp,if I may add.

Sometime back I wanted to get into this RJ thing but after reading your post, I am giving it a second thought.And as I always say, you rock as far as humour is concerned.

Gagan said...

Dear Mr. Irving Wallace,
I ust say this again, whatever you write is so captivating, that one cant just stop reading once they start....
Anyhow, you've made up for not writing sooner, and that too in a big way! Main toh fan ho gaya sir!!!!

Fali said...

hehe..that's a nice little goof up
entertaining ;)

Aayushi..^ said...

YOU ARE A RJ!


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKK!


People say I've got a voice for it (Princi said so its like..heaven)

I SO SO SO WANNA BE ONE.(time pass.....only(

Period.
Which Radio station are you on?

YAY!
I have a buddy whose on the radio.
(er..ignore the fact that my frnd's mother is a RH.

Even if you don't have anything to write..


ROCK on!

Anu said...

I decided I wanted to be a dj when I was 18.. then decided it was too hard, and complete my masters instead :D!!! Btw, did you let the guy dedicate a song atleast for helping you out :)

Solitaire said...

Hey! There is a lot of MAGGI talk on SHORT and SWEET..(one of my blogs).

Thought it might interest you!

dreamy said...

Since you already know this, there's no point in stating itagain...but well... you gotta comment when you gotta comment... :|

Really liked what you wrote :P

CutePooja said...

i nevr imagnd bein' a RJ wud b dat tough...alwez thot it s 2 easy 2 handle...but now i dont wanna b a RJ, not due 2 d wrong reason but d rght one...;)

Sagar Balan said...

Good one. Life is fun due to the screw ups we do. Best is to laugh it off and move ahead rather than build logic to stop screwing it up. Screw ups are fun and should be encouraged! Go on!

neha said...

i always knew that being an Rj is tough!..but its nice that atleast u covered up!hehe

utopia said...

never did i think being an rj is easy. u've confirmed my doubts. what is life without a few goof ups every now and then? come onnnn! :D

Scribblers Inc said...

anindita:Suggestions suggestions!!and ab to Bombay se laut kar hoga...before going...I would do one last post....

numb:totally wooosh maaan!!:D

ceedy:have you ever thought of giving radio a shot??you could be good you know!!:)

knatch:I scare neighbours while bathing and I am NOT an RJ...:)

divz:aah a singer!!talented people on blogger...try kar lo...you just might make it!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

keshi:glad you liked it!!:)

divkiran:I am trying I am trying!!:)

Ki:Sympathies, but this involved close to 20 lakh people and the reputation of a leading Radio Station...see what I mean??:D

arunima:Thank you...critiques would be appreciated!!:)

Lijy:trust me, thats like the bestest compliment ever!!you made my day!!:)

rantravereflect/ jane said...

"International Summit of Polka Dotted Umbrella Users, would you?"

polka dotted umbrella users??-
ya talking of polka dotted condoms there?? (umbrella being the codeword for condoms???)

geeeeee..
ya dint know wat to write, n styll ya write n make us go into friggyn splits!!

ya're way too awesome, heeeee, n yehhh, ya're the perfect male blondie with that goof-up there,..geeeee..
;);)
what if teh song were..
"awaaz do humko hum kho gaye kab neend se jage kab so gaye"
and you were uttering alongside,
"hey man ya awaaz is absolte bullshit, ya're putting me to neend ya arsehole"
buahahhahhaha..
keep them coming in jock!!

Scribblers Inc said...

aneesh:eh camman!!not that tough ok!!:)

shikha:will put...I keep forgetting...:P

swati:glad you liked it!!:)

wanderer:certain careers dont suit certain people no??;)

lena:glad you liked it!!:)

Orchid said...

very well written RJ..ah..sorry traffic update taker..u knw the mumbai traffic update need not b taken..i hear the same update everyday !!

Scribblers Inc said...

ferrin:thanks...I liked your writing too!!:)

sachi:same same...kuch to different likho!!thanks for the compliments!!:)

mad:would make sure the wait is worth it!:)

mayz:arre shub shub bolo bhai!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

Scarlet:This ones for you!!Oh and saranya...you too!!:)

Me:Radio *beep* where are you calling from?
Caller:heard your traffic update...wanted to dedicate a song.
(Lord help me NOT to shoot this guy dead over the phone.)

ME:sorry only traffic updates...go ahead..
Caller:I dont have that but...

And for the finale...

Caller:Your voice is coming over the song....


Hope you liked the effort!!:)

Scribblers Inc.

Scribblers Inc said...

aria:thank you...and you still havent met one cuz am NOT an RJ!!:)

rat:glad you did!!:)

krimson:arre by all means go right ahead...

adi:Hitting aces is not the only thing...but I plan to keep hitting them till I win the match!!:)

happyz:I plan to do it in the near future!!:)

Calliopia said...

Total fun read. Love your busy breezy style of writing.

Scribblers Inc said...

mez:anytime!!but do come back!!:)

weevil:am glad you found the blog to be fun...

nut:great voice...um..you gotta hear me for that dont you??:)

top gear:ooooooo!!:D

abhu:thankyousomuch!!:D

Scribblers Inc said...

preeti:its ok its ok...

sameera:arre sorry na!!:(

PS:(again) its ok its ok...

ria:thanks and yes, its actually true...

express:thanks for the "express" comment!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

vinz:they are all genuine dude...A1...thanks!!:)

prats:oh yes...and I had a decent time behind the sliders all right!!:)

invincible:It already is...you just got to know...:)

javits:thanks!!:)

kenny:thanks man...and be right back ok??:)

Scribblers Inc said...

trina:sure does!!!:)

sahefa:glad you liked it!!:)

S:eh...cmon..thats too much of a compliment...:)

Mishra:bohot nohot shukriya hai Sir...

gagan:Oji thankyou haiga!!:)

HP said...

"awaz aa rahi hai" haha !!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Oh!
That's awful! I cringe when stuff like that happens... open up floor and let me fall right through...

OY!!

Well, it's funny now and it sounds like no one found out.

Thank you so much for the translation! I appreciate that very much.

;o)

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Scribblers Inc said...

fali:I dont like goofups in particular and hate it more when it has entertainment value...since you like it...cool!!:)

aayushi:oh well...its Radio City...and great...if princi thinks so its cool!!

anu:wish could have done that...was a lil stuck up then tho...

sol:been there!!:)

dreamy:heyy, all good...thank YOU!!:)

Scribblers Inc said...

pooja:give it a shot...all good!!

sagar:they are more fun when they dont happen to you!!

neha:I tried to!!:)

utopia:now that I think of it...it gives me great stuff to write on my blog!!:D

jane:thankoooo!!

Scribblers Inc said...

orchid:the vantage points of a city never change...erm..what does vantage mean??

calliopea:thank you!!

hp: :)

scarlet:be back!!:)

Princess Mia said...

OMG, i cannot stop laughing..haha

n u said u didnt know what to write.....u surely do a good job at scribblers inc eh....keep it coming mate

uma kumar said...

hi,
first time here...
i have a friend who is a RJ in b lore .
didnot know that it is a tough job till such time i read ur post...
almost crisis management situation all the time?

Meira said...

Aha...my imagination about all those wires and consoles and buttons confusing the RJs was correct :P! On a positive note, another wacky feather in the radio station's cap :D

Echo said...

94 comments???wow u r def popular dude..obv tht shudnt come as a surprise since ur posts hold my attention to the very end..even when u thot u had nuthin to rite u rote this brilliant note on rj's..funny definetely but eyeopener too. i mean i too used to think rjing is like the easiest thing is d world ..n bout ur goof up!lol!!

Av. said...

You just made being an 'RJ' sound waaaaaayyy cooler than it already was [yes, I'm including the chaos that comes along with it.]

And, also, your blog's brilliant.
Keep it rolling.
Like, roooooooolling.
As in, not just 'roll'ing, but, you know, the roley-poley sort? Yeah, roooo..

Yeah, I'm going.

Meghna said...

ekkkkkkssssss.....blogger ki problem....my comment nvr get loaded yaar....anyways, I was saying ki.....I thgt being an RJ was cool and easy....had a goof laugh :)
Sorry :P

Scribblers Inc said...

mia:sure I will!!Came back after a long hiatus...new stuff comin up!!:)

uma:could always say that....Though what I do is a lil more relaxed than that...

Scribblers Inc said...

echo:its just a lil appreciation that a few guys out there think I deserve...and besides that, thanks a ton for your appreciation...do lemme know if you like or hate anything in particular.

AV:yes it will roll...like "rock n roll"...or like "you gotta roll baby roll"...or "rollin' rollin' rollin' "
whatever the case...its gonna roll...

Scribblers Inc said...

meghna:RJing isnt easy....you have to try real hard...and then after you are done on that...try just a lil more...hope you get the drift..thanks for coming!!:)

Nomad said...

oooh mini celebrity huh! It is painful to post a pitiful comment underneath 100's of others.

Scribblers Inc said...

nomad:every comment counts...especially the ones which comes from the most dedicated and the oldest readers of this blog...

Rushabhh Gandhi said...

Wow! Thanks for bringing the inner world Radio Stations to us..!

Scribblers Inc said...

rushabh:glad you liked it!!:)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...