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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Past...



Not exactly a manuscript,but it sure looked old and worn out.It smelled of bad memories.





She opened the journal.


Oct 3 1925
I dont like ma.She keeps beating me.Baba keeps beating her.I dont like Ronu.He throws stones at me.I ran away from school today and sat near the pond.Some ducks came and pecked at my toes.Some were on the branches and singing.


I like the birds.


They talk to me.



Oct 9 1925
Today Ronu threw my lunch in school.The dog ate it up.I dont like him.He went and told everyone that Baba meets some other woman.I dont know.Ma was telling him about it the other day and he threw a bottle at her.Baba does not talk to me.I went by the pond again.The birds seem to be happy.It rained today.I am going to get muri for them tomorrow.




***



The handwriting was clear ,like the hand of someone who was sure with words.She had picked it up at the Sunday market in Daryaganj, planning to tear away the written pages and make her own journal out of it.Now, here she was, reading it like the work of a great scribe.The light from her bedroom lamp created strange shadows .The words seemed faded at places, a strained memory .What would have been a few yellow pages in the bin had suddenly become a secret peek into someone's life.It was like looking into your neighbour's house at night.Not that it mattered.She was liking this.It was like a story she kept at some hidden corner in her mind.



It sounded like a known story.



It sounded like her story.




She turned a few pages this time.A little over a month passed in the journal.



***



November 12, 1925
Today Monai mama brought jilipi but did not give me.He told ma that she cannot stay at this house forever. He said she is married to baba and should stay with him.Ma started crying.I dont like Monai mama . He reminds me of Santosh Sir.He slapped me when I told him that baba tore my copy.I went to the pond again.



The ducks were there.



They said they will tell me something in a few days.






***



She flicked away the tears that were on her cheek like careless whispers.She did not care about being sad.She wanted to know who this girl was.She did not like suspense.She hated it.Infact she hated it more than she hated her father.She turned to the last written page.



***




February 13,1926
I told Ma that I was leaving.She laughed at me when I said the birds at the pond told me I could stay with them.I dont care.I like them.They said they would wait on the terrace for me when the moon came out.They would show me how to fly.I see the moon.I am going to meet them.I can hear them calling me.


Bye Bye Diary.



I am going to fly.



***



The page quivered like it was made of water.She looked at her dresser mirror.A little girl wearing a white frock looked back at her.She held the same journal.She put pen to paper and wrote something in her journal.A word formed in the journal outside the mirror.




COME.




She got up from the bed, and headed towards the stairs."I will be back", she told her mom and headed towards the open stairs.



She never came back.

93 comments:

the stygian sailor said...

good one!

HP said...

nice..!!

Divya said...

:O
u continue to amaze me
wow!

Amrita said...

wuu huuu kewl one!!

Swati said...

both yum and spooky
yum cuz of the murhi! thats moi fav fav snack!

and need i mention why spooky??

although..harry potter?? i meant the whole diary convo

naaice! :D

Pavi!!!! said...

Very well-written!

Cinderella. said...

Holy pooh on toast !!!

Breath-taking !!

And to be frank, I wished it could go on a lil more...it ended kinda soon.

jGrrl said...

Simply ethereal, I loved this ♥

Vaudevillian said...

I'm not easily amused.

this got me so involved and yeah it did end soon. you must must do a 2nd longer version man..

nicely done!

Vinz aka Vinu said...

Dude

unique..
your writing style and your thoughts which got penned down..
I just loved the ending..!! perfect.


:)

S said...

This reminded me of "Uma's story" tagore.

See, now, I have got to get to know you better :)

S said...

by Tagore, I meant.

Abhinav said...

De-Scribed pretty well.. Nice one yet again!

Woodsmoke said...

Very interesting. I am keen to know what books you read, or have been reading.

Mayuri said...

amazing piece of writing....!!

Sach! said...

AWW! :) Awesome Work Weirdo :)

Sach! said...

Btw..gussa n all to nahi hai na?

ki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ki said...

*sniffles*
*shivers*
*applauds*

tessiewrites said...

it left my heart heavy... dunno wat to say... :(

good one dude... am addicted to this blog :)

The Trooper said...

Hey nice man.. Though it ended a lil suddenly :)

Chaggoholic.... said...

Wow that was scary at the same time intriguin....

Anindita said...

You yet, never cease to amaze me. Just when I thought you couldn't possibly get better, you just took it four notches above. Wow.

HP said...

You've been TAGGED and awarded !! check my post http://hydrogenpops.blogspot.com/2008/09/awards-quotes-and-tags.html

must say this again: totally awesome post :D ! you leave me in awe !

Solitaire said...

eerie!

deepsat said...

spooky and very well written!!!

;-))

The Rat... said...

awesome... awesome... awesome...

creepy and emotional...

$mit@ said...

hey thanks for the stop by! n might i say...the story was awesome!

Prats said...

That was brilliant...you have a great hold on the story while you write...
Wow!

Hiren said...

fundooo .....

Vasudha said...

Gripping, with this sorta noir edge. =/
Real nice. :)

Homer said...

gripping.. nice..
and the best part.. not letting out the outcome and leaving so much more to imagination

brocasarea said...

nice one....but the ending was little abrupt!..any way enjoyed it :)

crasiezt said...

Brilliant man! I think I'm still unable to breathe..

ash89 said...

nice! spooky too!!

happyz said...

I dont like this -- Where are the other pages of the diary?

rantravereflect/ jane said...

i love you man..
you bowl me over every other time!

suspense and reality drive together towards a dramatic ending..

btw, i think reading another journal is like watching a porn movie, you never wanna be seen doing it, but you just can't contain yourself from being engrossed!

humbl devil said...

this one was good...
but the last line should have been left out...it's obvious she never came back... :D

humbl devil said...

not at all spooky...


p.s.
i wouldnt know when something is spooky...hehehe

Think Tank said...

the work of a great scribe ...everytime ...u just outdo urself

Ps said...

hey--good one.
Did you by any chance write this for the Caferati flash fiction Contest that was on? The theme was 'Journal'. this fit beautifully.
Cheers
preeti

Anu said...

Good one.. though I wish the birds had been explained a lil bit more., it would have been nice to check if the reader had the same connection

Express said...

Man!

Cud relate so well..
u do magic with words!
purest form of magic!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

*That* is fantastic! I love it!

I was completely entranced from the very beginning... from the picture!
Loved all of it.

Very good! Now neither of them will be alone.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Echo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Echo said...

hmm...very absorbing .do u rite professionally??if not then u shud..ur writing deserves to be published

Rohit Talwar said...

Superbly written. I went back to certain parts once I finished it to enjoy the beauty once again. :)

Illeen said...

spooky...and engrossing!
i have to come up with a better thriller next time.. :P

Sahefa said...

♥♥♥Good one♥♥♥

Stupidosaur said...

Suicide maussssi ji!!!!!

Dude why are all your posts always so dark?

Hope its just a blog persona you have assumed. Just a flavour you have decided to write, for now.

Rock On!

Sam said...

Brilliant!! :)

Princess Mia said...

too good ......btw come check my blog u have something waiting for ya ;)

Ria said...

hmm sad end!! :( :( But i liked ur style of narration.

neha said...

amazing!!

creyzeee said...

mosta d stuff u write seems 2 have at least a tinge of 'dark'...really cool nevertheless...intriguing! ;)

Hyperactive maniac said...

whoaa!!
i like!!

Zubin said...

WoW..!!
you are amazing...

but it ended too soon...
still...WOW.. :)

debasish.. said...

reminds me of Jonathan Livingstone Seagull !

nice post.

Sarath said...

simply great..

D said...

Was this your entry for the short story writing competition with "journal" as a theme?

It's nice, to say the least.

nefariousoutlook said...

Dude!! AMAZING POST MAN!!! it has been some time since i read blogs...but you seem to have improved man...hats off!! great post

Cess said...

wow it was a great post...was really looking forward the end to see what s gonna happened.
It was a pleasure to read it.
Thanks.
C.

AshenGlow said...

You have set really high standards for yourself in the past, my dear... :)
Maybe thats why, i found this a bit predictable..
Nevertheless, an interesting read.. :)

Cheers,
Ashen

Mystique said...

fuckin' brilliant as usual....dunno HOW you do it...
and part of the effect is because of the white-text on black, the red, the spacing that gives suspense.....

wow.

utopia said...

hmmmmm quite gripping! i anticipated a longer story.

Jhayu said...

@ Scribbler.
Damn. Last time I came to your blog, I gotta admit, I didn't think too much about it. Clearly, I was wrong. Damn!

Lucid Darkness said...

A poignant portrayal, with a little girl's point of view captured in a very realistic way.

I can't say that I understood the ending very well, but ho. "I like the birds". :)

Neers said...

did i say, you are good!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

This is stunning. Crisp and taut. Brilliant

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

absolutely amazing! It made me quiver.

Loved your blog... will be coming back :-)

seriously_frivolous said...

You got your way with words dood! You will be like the kinda guy who can give a toast and leave people with watery eyes

bloggingknight said...

nice!!

and also spooky. :D

Astraeus said...

oh my gawd, this is brilliant, i cant believe i never came across ur blog before...
will be visiting more often

Diana said...

A very nice post.....I had told this to u earlier...U words keep ur reader engaged till the end....not a minute of deviation

Anurag said...

Scribbler's Inc. should officially change it's name to "Classically Spooky"... :P

All these Spooky tails are actually publishing material......

*Applause*

WAR10CK said...

some stories are not meant to have a happy ending,
may be not even a sad one.
nor an ending at all.

i donno what was unanswered here in this story.
but its better that way.

write something new.
this was great!

The Ancient Mariner said...

Good One...only I felt, the last line was not needed...its a short story...keep the reader guessing! just a thought...it would be perfect as per wht tagore defined short story to be! :) not necessarily you have to go by that...but still thought of telling here.

Anurag said...

Oops ....I should hv written "tales" instead of "tails"...Baaad Mishtake :P

Alok said...

Well written, man!

The writing produces vivid scenes to erupt in my head, and that helps me enjoy the plot. Brilliant construction. :)

Pooja said...

splendid!!!

ceedy said...

Good one!

Ankur said...

good work.... :)

The good old pages of past are always revisited while going to heaven!!! :)

Cheers!!!

rantravereflect/ jane said...

new posttttt pleaseeeeeeeee :)

wherez yaaa??

gunj said...

i sent u an add req on gtalk!!
add kar, i got sme work with ya!

Pri said...

damn! this sent shivers down my spine :-/

Babbi said...

Brilliant!! the story was ethereal and fine... but the descriptions were mind blowing!

PS- was following few blog threads and got here.. mind if i add you on my blogroll??

regards

pj said...

that was good!:)

Marina said...

compelling work!

Neo said...

you are a master story teller.
loved this post.

you have a follower :)

Reeta Skeeter said...

amazingly written....
kudos!

Samata K said...

it couldn't get better.

tinkerbell said...

very nice..
very spooky..
excellent blog u've got..
luks lyk i'll b following ur posts..
kp writing..
isra

Mads said...

whoa...nice work there...ur awesome at this...this has to be one of the best blogs ever...

blogrolled u... :-) keep up the amazing work, dude....

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